Rain was the tenth track from the Erotica CD. – “Your love’s coming down like rain, wash away my sorrow take away my pain.”
You know, life can be funny. Just when you think you’ve gone about as low as you can go and you feel like you can’t dig yourself out of the hole you’ve allowed yourself to get in, something or someone comes along just in time to offer a hand. That happened to me in January of 1992, the night I met Joel.
As I said before, I had this one spot on the dance floor at the Power Company that everyone expected to find me in on any given Friday or Saturday night. If an out-of-towner came to the club and happened to dance in my spot, I would challenge them by dancing next to them and slowly move them away. One night, after arriving at the club, I discovered this young guy dancing right in the middle of my spot on the dance floor. I stood beside the dance floor with my arms crossed and watched him dance for a few minutes. I was instantly impressed. I walked onto the dance floor, moving closer to my spot with every new song. He didn’t budge. He continued to dance, and quite well I might add. Within minutes we were dancing together and putting on a show like you wouldn’t believe. Everyone was standing around watching, this made us dance even more intensely. My soul was soaring. I hadn’t had that much fun in a very long time.
At the end of our “performance,” we made our way down to the club’s basement and introduced ourselves. We exchanged numbers, and he called me the very next week.
It was at this point I discovered that love is abundant energy within the Universe. If you can’t get it from one source, you most definitely can get it from another. I had focused all of my energy on getting acceptance from my family, hoping they would be able to give me the love that I needed. I should have just given them time and space and looked for love someplace else. I found this abundant supply of love in Joel and through that love, was able to turn myself around. Being with Joel helped me heal myself, and this was important in my reincarnation. I still had a long way to go, and a lot of work to do on my own, but meeting Joel was the jump start that I needed.
During this time I put together a two-hour video presentation titled “It’s My Life” which I had planned on giving to my family. Yes, I had gone from writing to making my videos. I set up my camcorder and taped myself talking about subjects such as God, AIDS, and being gay. It was just another attempt to reach out to my family and let them know that I was still around. I started the two-hour video out with a song titled “It’s My Life” by Talk Talk. Talk Talk was my favorite group from the eighties. The lyrics to the song expressed everything I was feeling and to this day is my favorite non-Madonna song of all time.
Slowly, I could feel myself regaining my strength and courage. I could also feel God’s love washing over me. I was extremely grateful that Joel had come into my life when he did, and I hoped that I had a positive influence on him, as well.
One night, as I was putting the final touches on my two-hour documentary, Joel and I were partying and dancing around the apartment. I put on one of my favorite Madonna tracks and left the camcorder running, recording everything that took place that evening. I recorded the following video while Joel was taking a shower.
YouTube came thirteen years later.
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I feel it, it’s coming
Rain, feel it on my finger tips
Hear it on my window pane
Your love’s coming down like
Rain, wash away my sorrow
Take away my pain
Your love’s coming down like rain
When your lips are burning mine
And you take the time to tell me how you feel
When you listen to my words
And I know you’ve heard, I know it’s real
Rain is what this thunder brings
For the first time I can hear my heart sing
Call me a fool but I know I’m not
I’m gonna stand out here on the mountain top
Till I feel your
When you looked into my eyes
And you said goodbye could you see my tears
When I turned the other way
Did you hear me say
I’d wait for all the dark clouds bursting in a perfect sky
You promised me when you said goodbye
That you’d return when the storm was done
And now I’ll wait for the light, I’ll wait for the sun
Till I feel your