Frozen was the ninth track from the Ray of Light CD. – “You only see what your eyes want to see How can life be what you want it to be.”
Initially, we decided to do our first reading with Chuza as pure entertainment, but her accuracy made us realize that we were tapping into something extraordinary and unique. Within just a few days of my first reading, a very mysterious thing happened. I had a very intense dream about Thaddeus. In all of the years that I had known Thaddeus, I had never dreamt of him. However, during the fall of 1998, Thaddeus visited me in what felt more like an out-of-body experience, than a dream. It felt authentic. In this dream we made love, and when I woke up, I could smell the scent that he always carried around with him when he was alive. It felt as though he was right there beside me that morning and it was this dream that I considered to be the last time that I saw Thaddeus.
After my dream of Thaddeus, my deceased father started coming to me in dreams as well. He was always with our dogs Nike and Trigger, which were also dead. It seemed that I had opened myself up to a new and different world, and that’s when I started seeing everything around me completely different.
Because of this new phase in my life and all of the work that I was doing with Chuza, I wanted to heal some disputes with certain members of my family; I decided that all of the pain and self-pity that I was carrying around wasn’t hurting anyone but myself. And so to get things started, I crashed my sister’s 50th birthday party that summer as a sign that I was ready to make amends. It was a start if nothing else.
I learned that a lot of the complex issues that I needed to deal with during those times were my own, and no one else’s. My family and loved ones reflected things that I did not like about myself, and instead of working on those issues internally, I projected them back onto them in a negative way. I had completely ignored the problems that I needed to work out. I searched for ways to move away from the energy of self-sabotage and continued to work with Chuza on my spirituality. It was very challenging, but I gave it my best shot. Chuza was also responsible for helping me find a creative outlet professionally. It was during this time that I received an incredible gift from the Universe. I finally received enough money to pay my tuition at George Washington University, to get a certification in Web Design. Things were starting to look up. Finally.
BACK | TOC | NEXT
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You’re frozen
When your heart’s not open
You’re so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You’re broken
When your heart’s not open
Chorus:
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we’d never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key
Now there’s no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be broken
Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You’re frozen
When your heart’s not open
