Die Another Day 0was the tenth track from the American Life, CD. “I think I’ll find another way There’s so much more to know I guess I’ll die another day It’s not my time to go.”
A few months later my very dear friend Lois and her boyfriend Luke, decided to move back to Lois’ home in Sweden. Lois and I had developed a very close relationship over the last two years; one of our connections was our love for Madonna’s music. Once a year the DC club “Nations” dedicated an entire night to Madonna’s music. It was called “Madonnarama.” Lois and I always made a point to attend this event. We went several times over the course of our friendship and had a blast every single time.
Lois left the United States in June of 2003, and before she went, I promised her that I would visit Sweden within a few months. It was around this time that I met Matthew. I liked Matthew from the moment we met. He was down-to-earth, very friendly, and kind. When I met Matthew, I told him that I had planned a trip to Europe. Since he had been to Europe several times, I asked him if he would be interested in going with me. Matthew had just lost his lover to AIDS, and we both figured it would be good for him to get away for a while. He thought about my invitation for a couple of days and then decided to go with me. I was very excited to have found a companion for my trip.
We spent the next month getting to know one another. Matthew turned out to be a very positive influence in my life. Right off the bat, he helped me with my intense fear of flying, which was the main reason that I had never made it to Europe. Since he was a doctor, he asked about my HIV status. When I told him that I didn’t know my situation, he made sure I understood the importance of getting tested. I felt safe discussing all of these things with him. I’m not sure how he convinced me, but after just a few weeks, I decided to get tested.
I went to get tested and just like everyone else, was scared to death. I thought about all of the guys that I had dated who were HIV positive. I thought about Thaddeus and the fact that he had died from AIDS and I looked back at all of the sex that I had during the last seventeen years of my life. I figured that the outcome didn’t look so good for me. Surprisingly, however, my test came back negative.
It was at this very point that I began to realize that certain aspects of life can be a very mysterious and strange experience for each one of us. At times it didn’t make much sense why some people caught the virus, and others did not. Regardless, I was grateful to be HIV-negative still.
Matthew and I had a blast in Europe. The trip turned out to be the best trip that I had ever taken. The fact that I had paid for everything in advance made it that much more special. I paid for the airfare by the frequent flier miles that I accumulated every time I rented a car to visit my mom when she was alive. I also had a couple of friends in Europe that allowed us to stay with them, so that cut back on a lot of hotel expenses.
Our three-week trip included Brussels, Paris, Brugge, Koln, gay pride in Copenhagen, Stockholm, and Amsterdam. They were all amazing cities.
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I’m gonna wake up yes and no
I’m gonna kiss some part of
I’m gonna keep this secret
I’m gonna close my body now
I guess… die another day
I guess… die another day
I guess… die another day
I guess… die another day
I guess I’ll die another day
I guess I’ll die another day
I guess I’ll die another day
I guess I’ll die another day
Sigmund Freud
Analyse this
Analyse this
Analyse this
I’m gonna break the cycle
I’m gonna shake up the system
I’m gonna destroy my ego
I’m gonna close my body now
I think I’ll find another way
There’s so much more to know
I guess I’ll die another day
It’s not my time to go
For every sin I’ll have to pay
A time to work, a time to play
I think I’ll find another way
It’s not my time to go
I’m gonna avoid the cliché
I’m gonna suspend my senses
I’m gonna delay my pleasure
I’m gonna close my body now
I guess… die another day
I guess I’ll die another day
I guess… die another day
I guess I’ll die another day
I think I’ll find another way
There’s so much more to know
I guess I’ll die another day
It’s not my time to go
I need to lay down
I guess… die another day
I guess I’ll die another day
I guess… die another day
I guess I’ll die another day
Another day
Another day
Another day
Another day
Another day
Another day
Another day
