Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You was the eleventh track from the Hard Candy CD. “The steps that edge along the ledge Is much higher than it seems But I’ve been on that ledge before You can’t hide yourself from me .”
Two nights after my reading with Perga, I returned to the Full Moon Bookstore to attend my usual Tuesday night drumming circle. It was horrible. There were only about six of us drummers, as opposed to the usual twenty-five. For some strange reason, we could not find a universal beat. I left the drumming circle feeling disappointed and completely frustrated. As I was driving home, listening to Madonna’s new CD, Hard Candy, the songs Beat Goes on, and Heartbeat grabbed my soul and wouldn’t let go. Since I was unable to release my pent-up rhythm at the drumming circle, I decided to go home, move some furniture and dance in my living room.
I suppose I could blame it on my reading with Perga, the rejuvenation brought on by my soul retrieval, or my journey into the desert. Or maybe I could blame it on John for the work he did on my chakras, or better yet, I could blame it on Madonna for making such a great CD. Whatever the reason, my spirit felt like dancing, and I knew nothing was going to stop me.
Between the ages of 21 and 46, I had danced to Madonna’s music in clubs all over the country, including clubs in North Carolina, Virginia, Atlanta, DC, Provincetown, Boston, Chicago, New York City, West Palm Beach, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Key West, Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver, Canada, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Seattle, Kansas City, St. Louis, Memphis, Omaha, Phoenix, Portland and Denver. I had indeed made my rounds. But there was one place that I had not danced to Madonna’s music, and that was in the living room of my house in Denver.
And so on May 13, at approximately 9:00 PM, I made three impromptu videos. One of these videos will appear at the end of my story. At 6’5″, 245lbs, and approaching 47 years old, I looked more like a WWF wrestler, than a dancer. But that didn’t matter; it was time to return to the dance floor!
On Saturday, May 24, Angelo and I attended a birthday party for one of Angelo’s friends, and I was asked to bring my Voyager Tarot cards for entertainment. I had been learning how to do tarot card readings for the last couple of years. After we arrived at the party, we spent the first couple of hours eating, socializing, drinking, and playing various games in the backyard. After it became dark and too chilly to be outside, we moved the party indoors. That’s when I started doing readings for those that were interested. It was on this particular night that I discovered that I had a real talent for this. I blew everyone away when I revealed things about themselves that I could not have possibly known. I had never met these people before, and Angelo had never mentioned them to me before the party. I even surprised myself; it felt so natural and comfortable. Aside from having a lot of fun with everyone, the experience made me take a closer look at my life, and my abilities to help people through this spiritual mentoring.
My Second Reading with Perga | The very next day, Sunday, May 25, I returned to the Full Moon bookstore to do a follow-up reading with Perga. It had been two weeks since our first reading. I talked Angelo into going and decided once we arrived, we would do the reading together. After we signed up and waited for an hour and a half, we finally had the opportunity to sit down with Perga. The first twenty minutes of the reading were directed at Angelo. He was pleased with the results. When it was my turn, I told her about the tarot card readings I did the night before and asked her how everyone felt about the results. After I gave her three names of the people I read for, she told me that Marcus thought I had inside information; he felt like he had been set up. She said that Myra was completely blown away and changed by her reading, and her lover, Norah had decided she would wait to see if what I told her would come true. Perga said that I did an incredible job and reaffirmed that I should be doing tarot card readings for people. I couldn’t help but smile.
As we continued our reading, I asked Perga if I had an entity in my house. I told her that ever since I had moved into my place in early January, I had a strange feeling I wasn’t alone. At times, I experienced difficulty sleeping and sometimes would wake up in the middle of the night, feeling like someone was watching me. During other times I would feel sudden waves of depression come over me, followed by chills and all sorts of erratic thoughts. Angelo said that he had experienced some of the same things when he stayed at my house, while I was away on my trip in the desert.
After pulling a few cards and talking with her guides, Perga confirmed that I did have an entity in my house. She said that he was a suicide. He decided to stay close to the earth plane after killing himself because he was afraid he was going to hell. She said he was harmless, but he did carry around a certain amount of depression with him, which was affecting me and everyone in the house. When I asked her what I should do about it, she told me that it was going to be my job to cross him over. She told me to do some research, either through the Internet or in a bookstore, and find a way to help Daniel (that was his name) to move on to the next existence. She then added, for whatever reason, that I should do this within the next seven days. I looked at Angelo and told him that he was going to help me. He said there was no way in hell. We both laughed. My first reaction was to walk away from this, purely based on the fact that I had no experience. But after giving it some thought, Angelo and I decided to drive to Boulder, Colorado, the very next day (Memorial Day) to see if we could find a book on helping souls cross over.
We found a metaphysical bookstore on the corner of Pearl Street and Broadway. When I asked the sales clerk if she had such a book, she told me that she did not. However, she did offer some advice. She said that while it was important to protect myself when performing such a task, I should follow my intuition and use the tools that I already had. That advice felt right to me, so I decided to follow my intuition while performing the ceremony. After a cup of coffee and some dessert at a nearby coffee shop, Angelo and I headed back to Denver. That night, after Angelo, left to go home, and after doing some additional research online, I decided it was time for Daniel to move on. I wasn’t going to spend another night with him.
The first thing I did was tell myself that this was nothing new. I had been dealing with this sort of thing, ever since my best friend, Lynn died in the third grade. I didn’t feel like there was anything to be worried about, but as a precaution, I invited all of my spirit guides, teachers, and angels to gather around me for protection.
Then I set up the following stage for my ceremony:
– I placed a mirror on the west wall of the room where I planned to perform the service. This would serve as the passageway for Daniel’s soul when he was ready to crossover.
– Using sea salt and the blessed dirt I brought back from Chimayo, New Mexico, I made a large circle for me to sit in during the ceremony. Again, this would serve as protection against any negative energies that might show up.
– I lit ten tea light candles inside the circle and brought with me, sage, a rattle, and my tarot cards. These items would be used to cleanse and communicate.
While sitting in the circle, I faced the mirror and began speaking to Daniel’s spirit. I gently reminded him that he had killed himself and that his life on Earth was over. I comforted him by telling him that he was not going to hell. I introduced him to my spirit guides, teachers and angels, and all of the souls that I knew on the other side, and told him that these souls would be escorting him to the other side. I then called on his spirit guides, teachers, and angels to join in the ceremony.
I lit some sage to cleanse the room. I shook my rattle in all four directions to bring in guides and teachers from the east, west, north, and south. I used my tarot cards to communicate with Daniel, my Higher Self, and my spirit guides. Fortunately, all of the cards that I pulled were very positive cards, which confirmed that the ceremony was going very smoothly. I continued to do this for about thirty minutes until I felt like Daniel’s spirit had crossed over.
I kept looking into the mirror to see if any images or flickers of light would appear, and I kept my eye on all of the candles to see if any of them blew out, but there was no activity. Since I had never done this sort of thing before, I wasn’t sure how I would receive the confirmation that the service worked. Before I ended the ceremony, I asked my spirit guides to show me a sign that Daniel’s spirit had crossed over successfully and then moved four of the lit candles to my altar and let them burn throughout the night.
The next morning I woke up and all four candles had burned out completely. I decided that I would spend this day cleaning my house. I vacuumed up the sea salt and blessed dirt from my living room floor, and proceeded to do several loads of laundry. That afternoon, while I started to get ready for the gym, I retrieved my freshly washed gym shorts and a t-shirt from my dresser. As I shook them out, a Bee fell to the floor. It wasn’t dead for it still showed signs of life. I shook my head as I tried to figure out how a Bee found its way into my dresser. When I returned from the gym, Angelo came to visit, and I filled him in on the ceremony and everything that happened the night before. I also told him about the strange experience with the Bee.
That night, after I had crawled into bed, it suddenly dawned on me to check the Shaman’s meaning for Bee. I popped out of bed, turned on my computer, and discovered the following.
Bee offers the following wisdom: Connection to the Goddess Diana, Understanding Female Warrior Energy, Reincarnation, Communication with the Dead, Helping Earth-Bound Spirits Move on to Their Proper Place, Concentration, Prosperity, Community, Celebration, Organization, Fertility, and the Honey of Life, Sweetness of Truth
I was grateful for the confirmation that I did indeed help Daniel’s soul crossover and was forever changed by the experience. However, I was left with several questions: 1) I wondered if Daniel was a member of my soul group. 2) I asked how many other countless souls had fallen into the same trap, afraid to move on in fear of hell and damnation. 3) And, I wondered if the same fear which caused Daniel to commit suicide also prevented him from moving on to the next existence. I assumed all of this had something to do with some religion.
When it was over, I took a moment to remember my friend, Samuel (See This Used To Be My Playground), and my struggles with suicide, which I had survived earlier in life. I was so thankful that I had the courage and strength to survive those thoughts of killing myself because I knew that if I had, my soul would not have been able to live out its true purpose. If anything, the experience of helping Daniel’s spirit crossover was a great reminder of everything I’d survived and how far I had come over the years. It also reminded me how much I had learned about metaphysics and how metaphysics had impacted my faith and my life. “The steps that edge along the ledge is much higher than it seems, but I’ve been on that ledge before, you can’t hide yourself from me…”
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As quiet as it is tonight
You almost think you were safe
Your eyes are full of surprises
They cannot predict my fate
Waiting underneath the stars
There’s something you should know
The angels they surround my heart
Telling me to let you go
I bet he couldn’t
I bet he couldn’t recognize
But I played right into it
Who am I to criticize
Somehow I’ll get through it
And you won’t even realize
Falling through your own disguise
It’s like over and over
You’re pushing me right down to the floor
I should just walk away
Over and over I keep on coming back for more
I play into your fantasy
And now that it’s over
You can lie to me right through your smile
I’ve seen behind your eyes
Now I’m sober, no more intoxicating my mind
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, but I do
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, but I do
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, but I do
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, but I do
I do, I do
You almost fooled yourself this time
Let all the saints be praised
You hide your sadness behind your smile
And you keep your lost heartbreaks
The steps that edge along the ledge
Is much higher than it seems
But I’ve been on that ledge before
You can’t hide yourself from me
I bet he couldn’t
I bet he couldn’t recognize
I still played right into it
Who am I to criticize
Somehow I’ll get through it
And you won’t even real
ize
Falling through your own disguise
It’s like over and over
You’re pushing me right down to the floor
I should just walk away
Over and over I keep on coming back for more
I play into your fantasy
And now that it’s over
You can lie to me right through your smile
I’ve seen behind your eyes
Now I’m sober, no more intoxicating my mind
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, but I do
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, but I do
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, but I do
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, but I do
I do, I do
Ooh…
It’s like over and over
You’re pushing me right down to the floor
I should just walk away
Over and over I keep on coming back for more
I play into your fantasy
Now that it’s over
You can lie to me right through your smile
I’ve seen behind your eyes
Now I’m sober, no more intoxicating my mind
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, you…
(but I do, but I do)
Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you
I, I, I, I, I, I do
