Lucky Star was the first track from the album titled Madonna. The lyrics described faith in God perfectly. “And when I’m lost, you’ll be my guide I just turn around and you’re by my side. You must be my lucky star ’cause you shine on me wherever you are.”
There is a sliding scale when it comes to sexuality. On one end of the range, a person is one hundred percent straight, and on the other end, a person is one hundred percent gay. The points in between vary according to one’s interests, desires, and curiosity. I knew my place on that sliding scale when I was probably four years old. I was completely gay.
I spent most of my childhood and adolescent years hiding the fact that I was attracted to the same sex. I grew up in a small, southern town where most gay people were called queers and faggots, and harassed on a regular basis. Most of my family shared the same feelings towards gay people, so it was no wonder that I kept that part of myself hidden away.
I knew I couldn’t change. My sexuality had become something very personal and overwhelming. I was also a very religious person. My faith lead me to believe that being gay would send my soul straight to hell for all of eternity. That was a terrifying reality for me. It was a challenging hurdle to get over.
After my introduction to the gay bar and other gay people, I slowly began admitting to myself that I was indeed a homosexual. But, I never acted on it. One day, in my early twenty’s, as I sat in the woods not far from my house, I had a serious conversation with my God. I told him or her that I was a homosexual and I knew that very soon I was going to act on it. I extended an invitation to God and asked God to do me a favor. I wanted him or her to take my life before I did anything that would jeopardize my chances of going to heaven. Just like every other religious person, my goal was to get to heaven, and I didn’t want anything to get in the way of that; especially not my sexuality. It was at this point that I felt the energy of my life begin to change.
Shortly after my conversation with God, things started to move in a different direction. My sister stopped me in my tracks one morning and asked me if I was gay. She had found out that I was gay through one of my nephew’s friends. (That’s another story altogether.) She promised me that nothing would happen to me if I told the truth, and I knew at that very moment that my life had come to a crossroads. If I said I wasn’t gay, then I would have to live a life of lies and deception. If I told her I was gay, I would have to go through the humiliation of my family knowing. I already knew how they felt about gay people. Right then and there I admitted that I was gay, and have never denied it since. From that point in my life, my sexuality foreshadowed every other part of my personality. I told myself that I wasn’t going to be ashamed. I didn’t want to be ashamed of something I had no control over. I knew that if anyone ever detected shame, they would use it against me. I trusted the fact that from that moment on, God (my lucky star) would be with me, and guide me in the right direction.
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You must be my Lucky Star
‘Cause you shine on me wherever you are
I just think of you and I start to glow
And I need your light
And baby you know
Chorus:
Starlight, starbright first star I see tonight
Starlight, [starbright] make everything all right
Starlight, starbright first star I see tonight
Starlight, [starbright] yeah
You must be my Lucky Star
‘Cause you make the darkness seem so far
And when I’m lost you’ll be my guide
I just turn around and you’re by my side
(chorus)
Come on shine your heavenly body tonight
‘Cause I know you’re gonna make everything all right
You may be my lucky star
But I’m the luckiest by far
(chorus)
Come on shine your heavenly body tonight
‘Cause u know your gonna make everything all right
(2x)
Your may be my lucky star
But im the luckiest by far
